Monday, February 3, 2014

I.am.the.worst.

at.blogging.

I've been so busy lately, though! The amount of reading I have to do for my classes this semester borders on the absurd. I feel like all I did this weekend was read Freud. But that's not true, because I also graded things, and went running, and went to Neon Lit (Olivia, Austin, Brittany, Dan, Amy, and Michael were all phenomenal--pretty jealous I didn't end up in that all-star lineup), and read more William Carlos Williams.

Oh, and I also turned 26.

My birthday was wonderful, actually. I worked like crazy on Friday and Saturday so that I could just celebrate on Sunday. Even so, I still had to write my 3-page essay for Poetry Forms class Sunday morning, but that wasn't too bad. In the afternoon I joined some fine folks at the Frog to watch a bit of the Super Bowl. (superb owl?) Poor Denver. Later I met people for dinner at The Cornish Pasty Co., which is a newish restaurant and is also delicious. There was a huge turnout, so I felt extra-special loved. We then returned to the Frog for a drink. I was serenaded by my friends, and the owner of the bar gave me a bottle of cinnamon whiskey. Maybe I go there a little too much...

All in all I think it was a more-than-successful first Las Vegas birthday. It made me very happy.

The problem with being so busy is that I'm not finding a lot of time to write. This weekend was something of an exception, obviously, but I think I need to re-organize how I'm spending my time. The beginning of the semester is always hard, though. Still getting used to everything.

So, Freud. Like I said, I've been reading a lot of him lately. (Specifically: his essays "The Uncanny" and "Constructions in Analysis," the first two chapters of "Civilization and Its Discontents," and chapters 2, 3, 4, 6, and 7 of The Interpretation of Dreams. That's the assignment for one week!) Anyway, I just finished up reading "Civilization and Its Discontents," and I was blown away by how anti-religion Freud was. I've read "The Uncanny" and some of his dream theory before, but I've never come across his whole religion-is-a-mass-delusion thing. (Not gonna lie--I'm pretty much in agreement. Maybe not about the psychological reasons why it's a mass delusion, but that it is a delusion, yes. Albeit a super academically interesting delusion.) He's quite harsh about it, honestly. He believes that religious people are kept in an infantile state.

I also liked this thing he says about artists in "Civilization and Its Discontents": "One gains the most if one can sufficiently heighten the yield of pleasure from the sources of psychical and intellectual work. When that is so, fate can do little against one. A satisfaction of this kind, such as an artist's joy in creating, in giving his phantasies body, or a scientist's in solving problems or discovering truths, has a special quality which we shall certainly one day be able to characterize in metapsychological terms. At present we can only say figuratively that such satisfactions seem 'finer and higher.'"

I do find joy in creating.

Speaking of creating, guess what I have not done? Accomplished my goal of writing one poem a day for every day in January. I believe I am four poems short, so now I have to catch up. I should do five, just to punish myself. Might be too busy for that though. We shall see. Here's one, at least. I like the word "whither," and I wanted to play with it:

Whither/Wither

Wither heart.
Whither new?
Wither me.
Whither you?

Without your
newness
my heart
withers.

When you go
go you whither?
Do you care
whether I wither?

Whenever you go
winter weather--
within, without,
wherever.

Whither heart?
Wither new.
Whither me?
Wither you.

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